The Type of Relationship we had

When you ask, I will be there for you
Perhaps that was the greatest mistake in our relationship
because I never could refuse.
When it was my turn to ask... Because I needed you with me.
You would not come...
Excuses...
Reasons...
More important things... than me.
Even now, nothing has changed.

How do I feel right now?

I'm in anxiety... somehow, the alcohol isn't helping as it used to.
The hate I feel for her? It's like, if it were the voice of someone speaking, then it's over a hill... Distant.
But I'm in anxiety...

It feels like I'm losing my breath... Like a physical weight is on my chest... A weight that is light, yet a nuisance.

Yet I'm afraid... That it isn't just anxiety.

But I'll be all right. That's the way things usually turn out.

I'll be all right.

Breakups and Romance

Just got out from a fucking relationship
Holding on, barely now
Emotions...I'm fine, I'm not, I'm shattered.
I feel a chill on my skin crawl up my spine
Disappearing,
not a trace,
then just a hint.
I want to lie down. I want to run.
I want to scream
to the world
the insignificance of my pain.